
Most of us are self-conscious about at least one aspect of ourselves and think other people won’t date us if they know such-and-such. And with online dating, confessing these undesirables becomes trickier. Should you stay quiet until you’ve met your date or get it all out in the open so he or she won’t feel deceived? Well, we think there is a way to spin certain sensitive spots so you’re neither lying to prospective dates nor giving them cause for concern. Here’s how to present five common undesirable matters in the best light—even as selling points—in your profile.
Undesirable No. 1: You’re unemployed
In today’s tough economy, unemployment or being laid off is unlikely to be a deal-breaker (as long as you share the financial responsibility on dates). But on your profile, it’s still not something you want to advertise. So, write what you do for a living, even if you aren’t necessarily doing it at the moment. When you start actually communicating with a person, you can explain that you’re freelancing or were laid off recently.
Undesirable No. 2: You work a lot
You’re looking to date, but you are busy with work, and you want your potential dates to know upfront that your career can make scheduling tough. While it’s considerate of you to be honest about the time commitment you’re willing to make to a partner, but watch out the way you put it and don’t make yourself come across as unfriendly. Instead of saying anything that hints at workaholism, you want to mention it in a way that convinces the other person it’s a good thing. Try something like “I work hard, and I enjoy my job,” “I’m ambitious and driven,” or “I travel a lot for work and I enjoy visiting new places and meeting new people.” By making your passion for work a positive quality, rather than a warning label, you’ll actually attract more people.
Undesirable No. 3: You have non-adult children
Anybody who wants a serious relationship will think twice about dating someone with a full-time job of taking care of non-adult children. But if you say, “my kids come first, take it or leave it,” it will only scare away your potential dates. Instead, let people know that you’re proud of being a parent. Say something like “I have an adorable five-year-old son and he means the world to me.” This way, you let people see that you’re happy and have a positive impression about your status.
Undesirable No. 4: You have certain bodily features that may not be appealing
In another article,
Become the Most Attractive You, we talked about ways to improve your inner self to become more attractive. You’ll be surprised that the majority of singles are attracted to more than just physique. But if you want to let your potential dates be aware of your a few extra pounds, less-than-impressive height, or baldness, address it in your profile with humor. Humor lets other people see you are comfortable with yourself, which most people find more attractive than having a skinny body or a full head of hair. Or if you’re not comfortable joking, then just post an accurate picture and let other people see who you really are. You are bound to get responses from those who are interested in you just the way you are...
Undesirable No. 5: You have a health condition
For certain health condition, for example diabetes or asthma, it’s the best to mention it in your profile, but you don’t have to make it sound like a limitation. How? Describe your condition in the context of something you love doing, so that you appear to be positive and with interests despite the health problem. Try something like this: “Being in a wheelchair doesn’t stop me from playing basketball, which is a passion of mine,” or “I have asthma but it didn’t stop me from traveling and seeing the world.” Of course, whatever you write should be true. The bottom line is: put a positive context in your disability, and show that the health problem is just one tiny part of your rich, meaningful and fascinating day-to-day life (which, after all, it is).